Would the face mask debate be over?
Would America’s most senseless debate — to wear a face mask or to not wear a face mask — still be raging if Covid-19 caused its victims, every victim, to suffer permanent, full-body hair loss?
The answer to that question is: “No.” No. The debate would be over.
If only life was that simple. If only the genetic code for hair loss was imbedded in the Covid-19 virus, thereby causing baldness.
For if Covid-19 did cause baldness, all of humanity would have masked up due to vanity as word of the virus spread during the early months of 2020. The…
Someone who reads about your quarantine protocol and still attacks is simply looking for a fight. It sounds like you put safety first. One can't argue with that.
Humor
Saying goodbye on a cheapskate’s budget
These days, the possibility of untimely death — mine — never completely leaves my thoughts. And since the Covid-19 pandemic continues to shake my long-held belief in the low odds of dying in one’s 50s, I have decided it would be wise for me to remind my husband of my after-life demands.
My demands are unconventional. And efficient. And simple.
And fulfilling them, ironically, may be the most difficult task my husband will ever undertake.
This is because I am asking him to promise me that, if I die before him, he will forgo the typical expensive, American sendoff for…
HUMOR
My drinking problem is not what you think — and will make you unforgettable, I guarantee
I have a delightful, diamond-shaped wine bottle stopper.
For my good health, I recently decided to fling my delightful, diamond-shaped wine bottle stopper into the trash. Surely, I thought, pairing the plastic stopper’s faux, crystalline fineness with Fluffy’s distasteful litter box production would finally allow me to banish the stopper from my mind.
I was convinced this was what I needed to do to relegate the stopper to my drinking past.
If today — after a few weeks of introspective, alcohol-inspired consideration — I told you I have acknowledged that flinging my delightful, diamond-shaped wine bottle stopper into the trash…
Karen Lappa Haas
Always: an Illini grad and mother of three. Formerly: a paralegal and an award-winning journalist and publicist. Currently: a reinvigorated freelance writer.
